Oh the stories A professional Cuddler could tell you!
A friend of mine calls it an “occupational hazard,” when I talk about the kinds of questions and offers I get in this line of work. Honestly, aside from the unsolicited pictures that come across my inbox, I understand where the desire to ask for more comes from. Most people don’t understand that you can have touch in your life that is purely platonic and it can be just as fulfilling, if not more so, than having a one night stand with a stranger. If fact, read that again… and then ask if you’ve ever had a one night stand that WAS fulfilling and nourishing for your soul?
When you pass the magazine stand, plastered with hypersexualized images and articles, it’s no wonder we have a one track mind. Titles like “How to have the best sex of your life in 3 easy steps!” and “Sizzling foreplay techniques that will make him swoon” smother the covers. Flipping through the channels on TV you are bound to come across a spicy story about Celebrity A and how they allegedly cheated on Celebrity B with C. All of this on repeat running through our sightlines just teaches people one thing: Sex is in style. Sex is trendy. Sex is THE goal. If you aren’t thinking about, pursuing, and successfully having it then there is something wrong with you.
To that I say Pfffftttt… frankly because I have no words. It’s such a racket, and this is coming from someone that pursues a healthy sex life. My intention is not to diminish the act, in fact learning and practicing consent along with good boundary keeping in one of my cuddle sessions can IMPROVE your sex life. Just once, though, I would like to walk past the News Stand at Barnes & Noble and see just ONE magazine, in the front, selling self-care and friendship, and you guessed it: platonic touch. That’s not to say that you can’t find that information out there, but it’s never in big letters and flashy colors on the front: “MAKE MORE FRIENDS.” “CUDDLING DOESN’T HAVE TO LEAD TO MORE.” “MEET YOUR NEEDS WITHOUT GOING TO BED WITH THEM.”
Touch is a basic human need that, if left unsatisfied, babies fail to thrive. That doesn’t change as we get older: we survive maybe, but are we thriving? The hustle culture we exist in does not advocate for self-care like this. It has us thinking that if we aren’t being productive, we are unworthy or lazy. If you somehow keep up with the expected hustle and grind, your stress levels grow, your time is taken, and there is little to no space to recharge. Yes, there are many ways to decrease stress, this is true. Exercise, yoga, meditation, massage, even just going for a walk! Then there is journaling, Talk Therapy, the list of modalities goes on and on… I advocate for any of them! What I do not advocate for is blowing off steam with unfulfilling sex with someone you don’t know…. or even with someone you DO know!
There is one thing you can add to the self-care list that is not quite like the rest. It’s growing in popularity as a service now because it isn’t readily available to everyone without added expectations. It has been around since parents held their babies to help them regulate their emotions. ITS A CUDDLE, of course! With firm boundaries, open communication, and practicing consent, it’s possible to decrease stress, improve mood, and increase your social connection in a wholesome way. Why not give your Oxytocin levels a little boost and decrease your cortisol with a buddy? Also, who couldn’t use a little more practice setting boundaries for themselves? THAT is self care!
So while I remain available to receive any number of unfortunate requests for “something more” (which will result in a healthy ‘report’ and ‘block’ in case you were wanting to give that a try LOL) I also remain optimistic that there are people out there that will see the benefit of a good cuddle.
Study of the Day:
Calming Effects of Touch in Human, Animal, and Robotic Interaction—Scientific State-of-the-Art and Technical Advances
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7672023/
